Curing the Incurable
by thatcrazyamericanchick
Summary: Pretty short story on what the scene with Peggy and Steve after Bucky's death would've been like in a more dramatic way. Sad and sweet. Steve thinks about Bucky, and tries to relieve himself of the pain, but to no avail. That is, until Peggy steps in. (This isn't a Christmas story but I did write it on Christmas. Hope you like it, and happy holidays!) TW: death and emetephobia!


"...Bucky..." I traced around the rim of the bottle I held in my hand. I put it to my lips and tipped it up again, letting the last remaining drops of the bitter liquid flow into my mouth. I swallowed, and for just a few seconds my stomach felt warm, and my fingertips tingles, but then it went away and I was left feeling even emptier than before. My stomach twisted in a knot. No matter how much I drank, my cells would automatically recover and I would never get drunk.

I gripped the bottle in my hand tighter.

_"BUCKY!" I pleaded to my friend._

Tighter.

_"GRAB MY HAND!" It wasn't a question, nor a demand. It was a cry._

Tighter.

_The bolts broke off. The railing squeaked and popped as it fell off the train, taking my friend with it. He let out a horrible, broken scream as he stretched out his hand in one last attempt to save himself, or more importantly, for _me_ to save him. Down, down he fell, into a valley of snow-dusted rocks. _

Tighter.

_All I could do was stare. He was gone. He was just there. I leaned against the train and grimaced as I felt my chest wrench in pain._

I kicked my chair out from under me as I stood up, arched my arm back, and flung the empty bottle as hard as I could at the wall, hearing it shatter into a million pieces. Suddenly a wave of nausea hit me and I fell back into my seat, only to land on the ground because I had already kicked my chair away. As I landed on my tailbone very ungracefully, I felt a bolt of pain rush up my spine. In that moment, I just imagined the pain he must have felt. It must have been in slow-motion for him. He would feel every bone crack and pop out of place and each rock crush underneath him as he tumbled down the mountain side.

Another wave of nausea hit and I hunched over, expelling all the liquids I had just drank onto the ground in front of me. I shuddered as I felt the burning liquid backwash up my throat, and hit my unexpecting tastebuds. Once I had emptied myself of the liquids, I gasped for breath for my desperate lungs. But even after I had been relieved of those substances, I didn't feel any more of less empty. There is no degree of emptiness, it's just...empty. Gone. Missing. The lack of something important. I couldn't stand it.

I stood again, disgusted with myself, and walked forward, pulling my fist backwards, and then throwing it forward with all my weight. I aimed for the wall of the old rackety building, but my fist landed a hold right through the window, causing glass to fly outwards and some to fall to the ground inside. Again I slung my fist forwards and this time I did hit the wall, but it went straight through. It wasn't enough. I turned around quickly, drawing my fist back once more, and started to bring it forwards...until I heard a small gasp.

I froze. My eyes immediately locked on Peggy's dark, terrified brown ones. I just stared, fist still pulled back and mouth agape. She looked so scared; I've never seen her even slightly worried. It terrified me. I wasn't scared of her, I was scared of me. I felt tears well up in my eyes and my body grew heavy. I dropped my arm but wrapped both of them around her instead. I hugged her close to my chest, and let out a deep breath that I didn't even know I was holding in. I started shaking when I didn't feel her move. She was so still I thought I killed her. But without much further hesitation, she wrapped her slender arms around my back. That's when tears started sliding down my face. "Bucky's gone..." I choked out with all the heart I had left, and I felt her nod. Her small hands rubbed in circles on my broad back, and despite me feeling like a child, it made me feel so much better. I let out deep, shaky breaths as I hugged her, and she continued to soothe me. Finally, I pulled myself together and pulled back. She looked at me straight in the eyes. Then she moved closer. And closer.

Finally, our faces were about an inch apart, and I felt her breath on my lips. "You'll be okay," she whispered. Lightly, she pressed her lips to mine. It wasn't a deep kiss, nor just a peck on the lips, but it was sweet and filled with passion and love that I could never muster up. When she leaned back, her eyes opened and looked into mine once more.

"Whenever you're ready, you should come out," she said as she hugged me once again. She squeezed me for a few seconds and I took in her scent, the scent of pine and honey. Then without another word she stepped away, and walked out of the door, closing it very gently behind her.

Nothing and no one could every replace Bucky, but I felt something just then. It was like a tiny bit of that emptiness had been filled. Like a ray of sunlight had come and dried up just a little bit of the rain. There was still a flood going on inside that empty space, but eventually, with enough sunlight, that water will turn into beautiful clouds, and they'll always be above us. And when the sunlight and the water mixes, sometimes you'll get a rainbow.


End file.
